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I
Me, My -- A Cover Letter Makeover
By Kevin
Donlin, CollegeRecruiter.com
Since your
cover letter is written by you and for the job that you want, it
may seem natural spend a lot of time talking about you and your
skills/qualifications.
Unfortunately,
this often produces myopic (or "I-opic") cover
letters...and poor results.
Remember
that all employers listen to the same radio station: WII-FM. That
stands for "What’s In It For Me?"
To stand
out from a stack of cover letters, yours must focus less on you
and more on the results you can deliver.
If you do
nothing else, try replacing the words "I",
"me" and "my" with "you" wherever
possible. This will put the emphasis back where it belongs -- on
the employer and his/her problems.
Here’s a
before-and-after example of an actual cover letter. Note the
number of times "I" and "my" appear:
"I am
enclosing my resume for your review because I am very interested
in obtaining a full-time position as an Investment Banking Analyst
at Ace Financial.
"I am
well qualified for this position. In addition to the strong
quantitative and analytical skills I have developed as an
undergraduate economics major and in my work experience, I have a
proven ability to stay focused for long hours under
pressure."
There are
five instances of "I" and two of "my."
Now,
here’s that same cover letter, revised to focus more on the
reader:
"I am
applying for the position of Investment Banking Analyst where my
combination of economics training and high-tech experience will
add value to your operations. Please consider the following:
"You
will gain from my strong financial background, which includes a
recent bachelor’s degree in economics, coupled with experience
researching and trading securities as a successful investor
(resulting in returns of 200%)."
Just one
"I" and two "mys" -- a 57% reduction. With
"you" and "your" thrown in twice for good
measure.
Replacing
"I" with "you" is an old advertising trick
that’s worked for decades. (Read any good advertisement and
you’ll always find "you" and "your"
sprinkled liberally throughout.) And what’s your cover letter?
Essentially, it’s an advertisement for your résumé...which is
an advertisement for you.
So follow
the rules of the world’s most successful advertising
copywriters. Focus on "you," the reader, to dramatically
improve the effectiveness of your cover letters.
Best of
luck to you!
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